It’s 9/11. What a day. I remember exactly where I was and what i was doing ten years ago this day. I didn’t think I would be so emotional, and then I started watching memorial ceremony. I was sobbing by the time he got here for lunch. He cried too, and rubbed my back as I cried. I should feel grateful and thankful for my life and my health and my family. Instead, I feel sad for what I no longer have. What an ungrateful, selfish bitch I am. There are so many people who have legit reasons to feel sad for their losses today, I shouldn’t be one of them. I think I need help, I’m trying so hard to be strong and some days are way better than others. I guess a tiny part of me is still hoping that one day he’ll wake up and want me back. I know it’s stupid, but I can’t help the way my dumb brain works. I just want to be happy again, and I just don’t see any relief in sight.