I can’t say I’m not glad I have this place. I feel like I have exhausted every other avenue of expressing exactly what I’m feeling right now. I’m not using facebook…I don’t even want to remotely know where you may be or what you might be doing. Plus, I don’t have much to say that doesn’t involve my broken heart. Twitter, yeah…it helps for about two lines and 30 seconds.Also, I don’t want to keep blasting the same things to the same people over and over again. But here, I can write forever. I can pour out everything I want to say and everything I feel, especially the things I won’t or can’t say to him. I can’t always keep it all inside me, and there are certain things I want him to know. Partially because for some reason I want him to know how much pain I’m in, partially because I want him to realize how much I do feel for him and maybe that will remind him what he feels for me. My feelings don’t work like a switch, I can’t make them stop overnight. I want so badly to have him in my life that I’m trying to tell myself maybe we can be friends. I don’t know if this is even possible because even just seeing him will bring back a million memories and make me want him back. I’m going to get hurt again, I know it. He is going to meet someone, and I’m going to have to deal with that. Which is why as much as I just want to be around him any way I can, I just don’t think friendship is an option. And THAT sucks. We were such good friends before we even dated. We flirted when we shouldn’t have, we hung out all the time like two people who really just genuinely enjoy each others company do. And now I feel like he doesn’t even want me around. Like its ok for him to go from seeing me almost every day or night to once in three weeks or the chance passing in the hallway. That’s just not enough for me. What do I do?